Is courage a quality reserved for exceptional people? Not at all,” says Jim Detert, professor at the University of Virginia's Darden School of Business. Drawing on his expertise in leadership and organizational behavior, he has set up several programs in some of the world's largest Fortune 500 companies. In his book Choosing Courage, he explains how to acquire this quality one step at a time, and how to put it into practice.

Why do we believe that courage is a rare quality that belongs to extraordinary people? 

When the media report on an extraordinary event, they often associate courage with heroism. A fine example of this is the Wall Street Journal, which does just that when it recounts the tribulations of whistle-blowers, portraying them as heroes. While inspiring and hopeful, their actions remain uncommon, leading us to believe that true courage is the kind that makes the headlines, which is rather rare! In fact, the occasions that call for bravery are frequent, and not necessarily heroic.

But there's also a practical reason for believing that courage is a rare quality: it relieves us of our responsibilities. If we believe that courage is an unusual quality, it justifies our inaction in circumstances that would have required this kind of bravery! We would never say that only a small percentage of people are capable of kindness, moderation or fairness. We're supposed to cultivate and develop these qualities. The same is true of courage, which is not innate: it's a capacity we can acquire, develop and strengthen throughout our lives.

We all regret having lacked courage in certain circumstances. What's holding us back?

Three things. The first is a kind of fatalism or feeling of powerlessness that makes us think that any effort is futile. We tell ourselves that we've said it a hundred times and nothing has changed, or that no matter how much we talk, our boss will always end up rejecting our idea. And that's without considering the legitimate fear of potential economic or professional consequences. If you step out of line, you run the risk of being ostracized, isolated, sidelined or even fired. And thirdly, accepting an ambitious, creative or innovative mission requires a certain moral strength, as it involves confronting our own limits and living with our mistakes, which can be embarrassing. So we tend to follow the score within the limits of what we know how to do.

So it's our emotions that prevent us from being brave?

Most people become anxious or fearful when it comes to showing a little boldness in their actions or words, which is not unreasonable, as they will face negative reactions. But these are necessarily new situations, and it's hard to get it right the first time. Recently, a group of customers told me: “If I dare and my colleague or boss panics or braces himself, I won't know how to react!” This is precisely why we need to work on acquiring courage and putting this skill into practice. It's about channeling our own emotional reactions, so that they become positive fuel for action instead of triggering involuntary reactions like grief, anger and resentment.

So how do we overcome these fears?

It starts by unlearning certain behaviors. We need to take an honest look at how we make ourselves heard. We learn interaction patterns in childhood. Our first authority figures are our parents, who teach us how to express ourselves in order to be heard, for better or for worse. As adults, we need to assess our behavior in the face of stress. Do we react by fleeing the room? Do we spontaneously fight back? Once we've recognized the thought patterns that are harming us, we need to replace them with more useful ways of reacting.

There's no point in starting out in fear: you have to go for it with moderation, and even modestly at first. In my book, I present a “courage scale”, from the simplest to the most complicated. For example, it can be as simple as giving your opinion regularly on small things or expressing certain refusals for tasks that don't interest you or meetings after 5pm. It could be explaining to the manager what's wrong with the way things are done, or being honest with a subordinate during a performance review. At this stage, you're usually not ready for the big whistle-blowing or high-profile criticism, but that's just the beginning. We progress towards greater challenges one step at a time. At some point, if circumstances warrant, we may be in a position to attack our top executives for unethical, illegal or even criminal actions or harmful strategies!

You advocate courage as opposed to recklessness. Why is it so important to choose your battles?

Everyone knows the story of the boy who cried wolf. If you criticize everything, you end up being heard by no one. Criticism within an organization is not the same as criticism from outside. External social activists, for example, don't try to gain acceptance within the company: they lobby to create enough embarrassment for it to change. Internal change agents cannot behave like external activists. They have to be valued and respected, otherwise they won't get anywhere. Choices have to be made when speaking out, if only because organizations have limited resources with which to solve problems.

And how do you earn respect?

Social psychology uses the term “idiosyncratic credits” to refer to the sum of favorable impressions available to an individual. These credits serve to establish a sufficient level of trust that you are then allowed to adopt behaviors that diverge from the group. In other words, if you conform, you can accumulate tokens that can be cashed in later when it comes to going against the grain. To earn these credits, you have to respect the rules and show others that you listen and support them. In short, that you're part of the team. In doing so, you earn the right to become a critic. If we don't pick our battles, we don't earn those idiosyncratic credits. And if we don't appear loyal, our message won't get through.

Your concept of courage is not free of calculation, especially when it comes to taking action. How is courage acquired, then?

It's important to recognize favorable circumstances. The #MeToo movement and the murder of George Floyd are good examples. For a long time, organizations had been criticized on issues of raciaĺ and gender equality. But these topics weren't always considered very important until these events gave them a boost. It was the best time for courageous action to bring about change.

Communication skills are also useful for improving our true capacity for courage. How do you explain this?

In two ways. Firstly, if you get up the courage to present your idea, part of the group will think it's great, but the other part will probably see it as a threat to their status or resources. When we present projects, we often focus on the participants who support us while ignoring the opponents. The opposite is true. We need to address the person who is against. We need to understand their concerns. By listening, we can learn things that will help us get our idea across. This follow-up is essential. It allows us to reinforce our support and learn how to improve our presentation.

Secondly, it's important to frame our argument clearly. The natural tendency of communicators is to follow their own logic. However, to be convincing, we also need to be able to argue from the perspective and priorities of those who are against. Is their rejection ideological, cultural, financial or commercial? So we need to formulate arguments that will resonate with them.
 

The courage you speak of in your book is very political, in a way.

Yes, that's precisely the difference between a social activist and an internal change agent. Social activists can be revolutionaries. Internal change agents have to be what I call “evolutionaries”. They have to be diplomats who make their environment evolve.

Are there ways to control your emotions when you take a courageous step?

Yes, and it's all the more important because courage can only be trained by getting wet. There are tools, such as breathing techniques, that enable you to regain a degree of physiological control in stressful situations. But there are also other ways to gain time and regain the upper hand. A good technique is to ask people to repeat what they've said. This reassures the person you're talking to by showing that you're listening, and gives you 45 seconds to breathe through your nose and refocus. If the confrontation heats up, it's a good idea to suggest a break. When you return, both parties generally feel calmer and more reasonable.

Doesn't courage come more easily to those with power?

No. It's an illusion to believe that moving up in the hierarchy will make us more courageous. The fear of breaking bad news or having to confront our peers or superiors will not disappear. Even CEOs have fears, starting with the fear of being fired by the board of directors. What we need to understand is that it's easier to cultivate courage when you're young, at the bottom of the ladder, and when the stakes are lower! At 28, if you only listen to your courage and get fired, you probably won't have a huge mortgage and kids at school. At 58, the chances of bouncing back are slimmer. That's the best argument for cultivating fortitude as early as possible!

How can managers help their employees become more courageous?

I've never seen a workplace that creates a perfectly psychologically safe environment. It doesn't exist. You can flatten the structures of an organization, but it's still a hierarchy, and some will always have more power than others. As a result, it will always take a good dose of character to speak up in order to correct mistakes or prevent damage or disaster. But I don't think it's a good idea for managers to explicitly encourage employees to be courageous. A leader who says “Come on, shake it up, you cowards, give us some criticism!” would not be exercising good leadership. Instead, leaders should model courage through their own behavior, admitting mistakes or asking for help in changing decision-making structures to make them more inclusive, for example. We also need to think about how we evaluate.

CEOs reward creative and prudent risk-taking, and this is the message that should be conveyed. By thinking and acting in this way, leaders show that you don't have to be heroic to make things happen.

It's an established fact in psychology that people regret inaction more than their actions. It's more painful to say “I should have tried” than “I tried and failed”. This is one of the most powerful springs of courage and one that will certainly prevent us from having regrets later on.
 

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